Sexpertise with Millie | On online dating

By
February 24, 2015

Hello My Darlings,

Online dating is becoming more and more prominent as time and technology progresses, namely with sites like OK Cupid and Tinder. Swiping left because of someone’s height or swiping right because of someone’s smile – it’s all a part of the game.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with how online dating works now, all you have to do is create an account (both cater to your smartphone using needs) and answer questions about yourself to find compatible matches. It’s entirely up to you which questions you choose to answer.

When I first started my adventure on OK Cupid, I felt like the main goal was to sell myself. How could I make myself MORE appealing to my OK Cupid viewers? But I realized that stressing about what other people think about me was silly. Almost immediately after creating my profile name, I got several messages from men around my area. I hadn’t even posted any photos of myself, so it was strange to already receive such unwarranted attention. Those men were definitely waiting on it.

That’s when I realized that this is a lot like a game. You’ve heard it before: “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.” Technology has successfully weaved itself into the dating game. Swipe left, swipe right, the next thing you know, hours have passed by of this tedious and mindless habit.

Fear not, my darlings. This simple and repetitive game can lead to real interactions with real people.

Like any game, online dating can be really fun. I’ve definitely met some weirdos, but I’ve also met some really dope individuals. The most powerful tool you should have when online dating is instinct.

How do I know if it’s safe to meet up with a stranger I’ve met on the Internet?

There’s a lot of taboo surrounding online dating. We’ve seen enough episodes of Dateline, where the creepers of America got caught red handed trying to lure minors into their homes. There definitely is still a danger in arranging blind dates, but there are ways to avoid them.

1. Take your time in talking to them over messaging, either on the app or via text messages. Use your instincts. Do you vibe really well with this person?

2. When you’re ready, arrange a date. Meeting in a public place during lunch time or the afternoon minimizes potential dangers.

3. When you’re on a date with them, you can decide if you really do vibe with them. Read their body language and listen for their tone. Is there a sense of mutual respect? Mutual understanding? Chances are, if you’re not really thinking about the mechanics of this process, then it’s going really well and you are comfortable.

Do I really want to find someone on the Internet?

Actually, you just might! If you’re an active user of social media, meeting people online happens for you a lot more than you think. I used to detest the idea of being on the prowl for an online mate, but then I realized that I had been networking and making friends through Twitter and Facebook. So, why should online dating be written off as something strange?

I’ll be honest with you, my darlings: I am a party girl. I love to go out to parties, night clubs and bars to meet new people. I love to flirt. I love to express my sexuality and share it with sexy someones. But, that doesn’t always mean love is in the air – and Millie needs a little lovin’, too! Most of the people I meet at these parties and clubs are cool for a minute, but just fade away over time. Most of the time those relationships lack real substance. They become predictable and eventually all meld together in my memory as a drunken blur.

Online dating has introduced me to Fortune 500 entrepreneurs, doctors with jet planes and adventurous travellers. My dates have grown from just “chillin” at their house to going to comedy clubs, the beach and mini-golfing.

My point is: I was able to figure out what I want for myself and find people who were willing to give that to me through online dating.

Try it out, my darlings! You could always just delete your account with a few simple clicks. So it couldn’t hurt, right?

Fair warning, some people on dating sites can be very abrasive and rude. Not everyone out there has the same powerful tools as you, my fellow Millsies, and often times do not view their behavior as problematic. But you could always anonymously send me screenshots of your fun little conversations and we can shame them together.

Be sure to email me with ideas, questions and comments at askmillie@thecampanil.com.

Stay Sexy,

XX

Millie


Sexpertise with Millie | On online dating was published on February 24, 2015 in Column, Opinions

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