Summer is synonymous with three things: hot weather, sex, and
music. I only have advice on one of these topics. However,
improving your music collection goes well with the other two, so it
works. Though do keep in mind that I have a bias towards music so
naturally I hold it up above anything else.
As far as hot weather is concerned, I really can’t fix that
problem if you’re bothered by it, but I will say that music makes
it feel a bit better. And on the issue of sex, whether it’s good,
sweaty, bad, or boring, I will say that music goes well with any of
those adjectives as well. Just look at it this way. If you have bad
sex during this hot summer, at least you can sing along to the song
being played in the background.
So my advice to you comes in the form of a homework assignment.
Build up your CD collection. If you already have an extensive CD
collection, use this assignment as an excuse to go back to the
music store and rebuild your collection. The summer is not a summer
unless you have a good CD on a two-month rotation.
Now for legal issues, I can’t tell you to burn CDs. That’s a
clue. So here are reasons to not burn CDs. That’s another clue
mixed with sarcasm. You should not burn CDs of up and coming
artists. You cannot not burn CDs of artists of whom you claim to be
a fan. You must never burn more than one CD per artist: More than
one CD is a declarative action of loyalty. Also known as “a fan.”
And you do not burn CDs if you have money to buy them.
Also try some basic clean-up of the collection you already have.
Pick out all those bad CDs that broke your hopes and dreams for
music, take them down to Amoeba, trade them in, ask for store
credit, and have a field day. If you hate to trade CDs you’re
S.O.L. with me because no decent collection exists without a few
losses. We as listeners are trying to hang on to our na�ve
loyalty that Avril Lavigne is going to eventually produce great
music and we should keep her current CD to complete our collection
in the future. Wrong. See, what we need to do is take that crap to
Telegraph and sell it.
As for which CDs to get, I say all great music was built on
oldies, so buy used. If you get something new that has just been
traded in, well then you lucked out. But it’s cheaper, still great
quality, and you can be more open in your selection process. Look
at the CDs you currently have, find out who produced your favorite
artists, buy a used CD with that same producer. Buy a CD with a
really cool cover. Buy a CD that has great song titles. Hell, buy a
CD because it’s Bjork’s old band. And most importantly, use all
your store credit at once. You might never have an opportunity to
buy so much music at once, so take advantage. When school starts
again, you can tell everyone about horizontal sweat dances in the
middle of July and how well they work with the Nelly CDs you took
forever to buy.