I was at the bus stop when I saw a young girl pass by wearing an amazingly green-colored fitted coat. Missy, my “inner mean girl,” hissed and groaned at her. “Ugh!”
I had to take a step back.
During this Self-Love Cleanse, I have to continuously question my negative mind so I can get down to the root of the problem. In order to truly love myself, I must learn how to embrace those thoughts. So, I asked myself:
“Are you jealous of her hair color, amazing green coat or cute looks?”
Missy responded with a “No.” I didn’t quite understand what my “inner mean girl” was trying to tell me.
A revelation finally struck me 15 minutes later when I realized that Missy was really upset because the young girl at the bus stop reminded me of my past.
But, why exactly was I upset at the reflection of my past self? I had grown and experienced so much since I was 16 years old. I should be happy for how far I’ve come and not dwell in the past.
Missy brought up an interesting concept: I haven’t taken the time to accept my past recalcitrant ways, or self-indulgence, with $350 hair weaves, T-Mobile Sidekicks and the latest pair of Jordans.
As I reflect back, I realized that I do love my teenage self. I forgive her for her attitudes and accept that they’ve happened. I realize that in order to move past and love my “inner mean girl” Missy, I must constantly try to engage in a conversation with her.
Did you ever question your negative thoughts? Can you forgive yourself for past actions and behaviors? Leave a comment below.
If you would like to learn more about Tymeesa Rutledge and her journey, you can follow her on Twitter @MiniPyTee to get day-by-day updates on her Self-Love Cleanse.