Craigslist Ad for the Worst Roommate Ever

October 7, 2013

Craigslist logo.

Craigslist logo.

$850 Room for Rent Walking Distance UC Berkeley (berkeley)

Date: 2013-10-3, 3:46 PM PST

Reply to:

Room for rent available in adorable 2-bedroom apartment. Shared bathroom, kitchen, and living area with roommate. Rent includes utilities, cable, and WiFi. Super convenient location! Walking distance to three sushi restaurants, Ben & Jerry’s, Yogurtland, and a cupcakery.

A little about your future roommate, me:

I’m a political science major with a music minor. What this means is that I blare a lot of Fur Elise and Bruno Mars with bass. Why so loud, you may wonder at 3 in the morning when I’m singing “Treasure! That is what you are!” at the top of my lungs while you are trying to sleep and I am having my own private electronic concert in my room. Because I really love Beethoven.

My unemployed boyfriend has no place to live, so he’s currently spending some time at the apartment. He is at the apartment from 8AM-12-PM, 1PM-8PM, and 8:30PM-7:30AM (weekday and weekends). He leaves the house to go to the gym, so he’s not always there. All he does when he’s home is sleep on the couch, so I promise you’ll barely even notice he’s there!

The environment is really important to me. In an effort to save water, I never do the dishes.

The apartment has a laundry machine on site, which I use to wash my pet chinchilla. Just once through the “delicates” cycle, and Jeremy’s fur comes out so sparkling clean and soft!

I’m a very open and trusting person, so I will figure out that your Facebook password is “Sn00k1” and hack into your account to Like the new profile picture of myself I just posted.

I like to collect odds and trinkets. My self-identified interior stye is called “vintage hoarder.” The entire living room is decorated with all the soda cans I have opened since 2007.

When I sleepwalk, I go into the pantry and fridge and eat all the food labeled “IF IT’S NOT YOURS, PLS DO NOT EAT! THX” It is a real medical condition that makes me consume all your PopTarts, even when you have hidden your foodstuff in a locked and secure cabinet.

So if you’re interested in renting, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me!

  • it’s NOT OK to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Craigslist Ad for the Worst Roommate Ever was published on October 7, 2013 in Column, Opinions

Print this page Print this page